2 August 2012. Another day, a fresh start? I’m not sure I believe in that cliché but I do feel a little better today. At least I’ve had a good night’s sleep. My alarm hasn’t yet gone off but that’s only a matter of 5 minutes. Not too shabby considering I am currently reconsidering my entire life.
Of course he’s still asleep, looking at him makes me smile. Would I want to give this up? Not really. I like waking up next to him. To have someone I can cuddle with when I’ve had a bad dream. Someone who will make fun at me when I am being my stupid clumsy self; making me laugh when I’ve stubbed my toe hard on the coffee table leg. Again. He has an odd way of showing his love for me at the best of times but I know he’s sincere.
But I AM jealous. Why? I wish I was a stronger, more confident person. (I also wish I was 3 dress sizes slimmer, had bigger boobs and didn’t have two left feet, alas I can’t have everything!)
I turn towards him and half asleep he hugs me and I press my face into his bare chest. His scent is intoxicating, as it’s always been. I hug him back and run my hand over his shoulders and back. Almost immediately he moves closer, pressing his hips against me. I can feel that he’s ready. He usually is in the morning. Nevermind, strike that last part. He usually is, the horny bastard. His eyes open slowly and he looks at me half sleepy half aroused.
“Morning” I kiss him softly and he responds by returning the kiss deeply and passionately. His tongue runs over my teeth, plays with the tip of mine and he pulls me closer into his embrace. A kiss like this can only mean one thing, he wants me. Or does he really? Does he want me or do I just happen to be convenient at this time?
We kiss some more as he runs his hand over my back, down to my ass. He grabs a handful and squeezes it firmly. I quickly try to shake off my negative thoughts, I can do without the mindfuck right now! Let’s just focus on what’s in front of me. As he presses into me slowly but firmly I can feel he’s fully erect. He feels so good, his body moulded against mine, I want more. I guide his hand up over my hips and side to my breasts. He loves fondling them, playing with my nipples. In fact he can grope like an overeager teenager even now while in his thirties. It tickles like hell when I’m not in the mood. But right now, I’m loving it.
I run my hand in a circular motion over his ass cheek, down over the back of his thigh and around his hip until I’m caressing his cock slowly. His whole body shudders as I touch him there. He moans softly and presses his face into the side of my neck, kissing and softly sucking the skin in that special spot where it is most sensitive. It gives me goose bumps every single time. I may not feel the same passion for him as in the beginning, but he certainly does not leave me cold either. Already, I am getting moist between my thighs.
“I love you,” he whispers in my ear, “don’t ever leave me…”
Oh he knows how to charm the pants off a woman, the player!
“Take me then, I’m all yours!” I moan.
I wiggle out of my panties as I turn onto my back. He quickly takes off his PJ bottoms, letting his fully erect cock spring forward, pointing right at me. It knows exactly where it wants to go! He gets on top of me, kissing me deeply again. I can feel my breathing changing, and he hasn’t even entered me yet. I grab his cock, it is rock hard in my hand as I squeeze my hand the way he likes it. Irresistible silky soft skin. He comes closer, so I can almost guide him inside me but holds back. He loves to tease. All I can manage is to brush his foreskin against my now dripping wet lips. Round and round a few times, it excites him as much as it does me. I want it in me so badly but he won’t let me have it yet. He loves to watch me squirm.
“Oh please, what are you waiting for?” I plead. He just looks at me and smiles wickedly. Nothing can wake him up as quickly as the prospect of sex.
“Why, what do you want?” Of course, he’s toying with me. That’s what he does. It’s what he enjoys.
“You, in me, now!” I breathe. I can hardly take it, he’s so close to me and yet it feels so far away. He’s supposed to be all mine, and that bitch he’s been talking to can go to hell for all I care.
Finally he gives in, lowers himself down. He feels so big as he enters me that I can’t help but cry out.
“Ohhh yes!” I grab both his ass cheeks and pull him deep into me.
He complies and I can feel him filling me up completely. Any bigger and it would be painful, any smaller and I doubt I’d be satisfied. The first few strokes are slow and gentle, but quickly he’s picking up pace. I am still holding on to him and pulling him into me all the way. I look up at him and he looks gorgeous, his messy shoulder length hair frames his face and his eyes seem like they’re burning into my soul. He can certainly be difficult to read, doesn’t like to express his feelings, except during sex. Then he comes to life. There’s a sparkle in his eyes as he looks at me. By now he’s moving faster, pounding me, encouraged by my fingers digging into his skin. He leans in for another deep kiss, this time it’s wilder, messier. But he doesn’t stop moving. I grind my hips upwards to meet his, finding my rhythm , getting ever wetter and more slippery. As I tighten myself, stimulating his full length inside me with every movement I can tell he’s getting closer to match my excitement. I moan with anticipation, grinding faster, tightening more.
“Oh baby, fuck me harder!”
I catch a glimpse of him still staring at me, a subtle smile on his face. My eyes close involuntarily and my neck arches backwards. He’s really picked up speed now, he’s fucking my brains out and I love it. I’m so close, it feels amazing. I contract and release my pelvic muscles again and again until I feel the warm tingling sensation of an orgasm envelop me completely.
“Ahhh! I’m yours, take me with all you’ve got!” By now I have very little control over my muscles, I try to keep up with his rhythm grinding my hips, but I miss a few beats as I’m trembling with the aftershocks of my orgasm. He’s slamming into me hard now, again and again and suddenly he freezes as his cock inside of me twitches violently and he releases. He’s fully tensed up and I’m still holding on to his hips, now I’m grinding against him with newfound energy, trying to make this moment last just a little bit longer.
As he catches his breath he’s still got a glimmer in his eyes “Waking me for sex? Hmmm?”
I feign innocence. “I’ve no idea what you’re talking about, I was sleeping…”
We’ve just got time for a quick shower each before rushing to work.
Sex on a working day morning isn’t all that common, though it does happen every other week or so. In fact I don’t feel our sex life is all that bad considering we’re not newlyweds anymore. We manage a few times a week mostly, but I guess it’s too much of the same old moves for him. I like the idea of being adventurous, but not the reality. And I rarely make the first move. I know he dislikes this about me, but before him I could happily go without sex for months. Or at all. This is a huge change from the old me and he knows it.
But I guess it’s not enough.
The day is not very memorable from then onwards. After work we cuddle up on the sofa and watch some TV. My mind is elsewhere though, mulling over everything that’s happening. I want him to be happy, and if that means letting go a bit and giving him more freedom, perhaps that’s the right thing to do… After all we did talk about this before, the rational part in me agrees with him.
“I’ve got a few rules,” I interrupt the TV, “Not in our bed. I don’t want to come home and have our bed smell of someone else.”
He nods.“Alright… I don’t think I’d want to bring her here anyway.”
“And you don’t make me feel secondary – ever.”
“I would never. ”
“You wear a condom. And you tell me immediately if it’s more than just sex…”
We’re both quiet for a few minutes. “Does she know that I know?”
“No, our relationship is none of her business,” he says.
I quietly start watching TV again. He puts his arm around me and caresses my hair as I lean it against his shoulder.
“Oh, The Fugitive is on, we haven’t seen that for a while..” His seemingly innocent remark makes me chuckle. They’ve been showing that film every day for a week now.
“You do know you’re the only one for me, right? Who else would put up with me watching the same shitty movies over and over… Who else do I talk to? Thanks for letting me be myself.” He whispers. I close my eyes and take a few deep breaths. Maybe it’ll work out this way.
While we get ready for bed, his phone buzzes a few more times.
“I said good night already, pesky woman!” He mutters under his breath.
Is the appeal waning already? 23 days to go…