Friday Filth 1

Onenight2-siteYes, yes I know. I’m way too inconsistent. Some time back I had planned to do a “Filthy Excerpt Thursday” feature and only managed to post one excerpt. Now fucked it up by posting a filthy excerpt on a Friday… Anyway, enjoy! A little teaser from Just for One Night.

I force myself to look again, not wanting to miss even a moment. Every movement of his, its sole purpose is seemingly to teach me that the tables are now turned. I had him where I wanted him when I was on top, but now it’s his turn.

Helpless, legs wrapped around his thick waist. We must look like quite a pair, hair flying wildly around us, tickling my nose. I drag his face down towards me and feel my chin getting raw from the scratching of his beard. Still I demand more kisses.

And he’s so good, so strong. I try to tell him, but it’s all just a mess of strained fragmented sounds. The intense look in his eyes tells me that he knows.

He fucks me harder and I feel my body reach new heights. Every muscle has a mind of its own, I spasm and contract and scream. But he keeps going and I’ve lost it.

Sneak Peek Sunday (Just Another Day at the Office)

My brain is on autopilot as he witters on about what he expects from me, I try to keep eye contact to a minimum while uttering generic responses where appropriate.

“Yes I understand,” I say.

Punctuality is important, got it. My eyes wander around the room, over the posed photographs of him sharing a handshake with some equally pompous looking dick. Dick – an appropriate nickname for Richard Porter – purchasing manager at the large electronic components distributor where I will be working soon. By now I’ve seen enough of the over dressed hardboard office from where he rules his domain and I stealthily glance through the window that overlooks the office floor. The desks are arranged in groups of three or four with partition walls surrounding each cluster. Most group arrangements that I can see are fully occupied except one.

“Yes indeed I’m very excited to start my career here …” I hear myself say.

I give Richard – Dick – a quick glance. Pointless, he’s still looking at my cleavage. Perhaps I should offer him a tissue. I try to breathe through my mouth to avoid the “manly” smell he’s producing.

Outside on the office floor the man who sits alone in a grouping of three desks catches my eye. He turns around on his chair as he answers the phone and only now I can fully appreciate him. Not much older than me, if I had to guess I’d say maybe he’s about 30. His full head of dark blonde hair, a bit messy and just slightly longer than intended. A perfect face, if there can be such a thing. Completely regular features and a straight nose as if copied from an ancient Greek statue; not that I recall seeing many Greek statues of a man of his size. I can’t tell their exact colour from here but even at this distance his eyes exude kindness and warmth. He looks so serious, speaking into the phone with his full, sensual lips and a thoughtful look on his face.

The above Sneak Peek is from Just Another Day 1 - tinyJust Another Day at the Office ; part one.
You will be able to download it for free on Amazon ( US / UK ) from Monday 11th March to Wednesday, 13th March!
Parts two and three are also available, with a fourth in the making.

Check out other entries on the Sneak Peek Sunday blog!

Why can’t things ever be simple? (Just Another Day 3; Preview)

JAD 3 - MedPart three of the Office Romance; Just Another Day at the Office is being published shortly. To get you in the mood, find a little preview below.

“Cath, I’m sorry it had to come to this, but I’m sure you’re aware of the reason I’ve asked you to come in.” Dick gives me a look which suggests he enjoying this more than could be considered professional.

He closes the vertical blinds and sits down on his chair, hands folded on the desk in front of him.

“I have some idea, yes.” I squint slightly and maintain eye contact.

Now more than ever it’s important to not show any sign of weakness, even if my heart is pounding. I cannot get fired!

“When I hired you, I made it clear that your initial three months would be on a trial basis. I don’t need to tell you that there have been concerns.”

“If it’s not too much to ask, I would like you to clarify in what way my work has been lacking?” My tone is curt and I continue to stare at the smug expression on his face.

“It’s not so much your quality of work, not beyond what can be expected from someone just undergoing initial training. But you cannot deny that there have been issues with your attitude and efforts to fit into the team here.” Dick adjusts his hands slightly.

He truly seems to think he is handling this with the finesse of a seasoned politician. He’s wrong.

“Say, is it not necessary to have a representative from HR present during meetings such as this one?” I change the topic.

His face hardens.

“As your direct manager, I have the authority to hold performance appraisals without involvement from HR if I feel it is the appropriate path to take.”

“Fine. It was not clear to me that this meeting would serve as a performance appraisal, since I have not been given time to prepare.” It’s obvious that Dick isn’t enjoying my responses, as the twitching of the corner of his mouth reveals.

“Cath, let’s cut the bullshit. The reason we’re in here is that I am willing to give you one last chance to adjust your attitude. I can’t have people in this team who won’t give their best.”

He gets up and leans against the side of his desk, too close for comfort. My heart is racing and I’m not sure whether to run or fight. But I do really need this job and my bank statement at the end of the month doesn’t fail to remind me.

“You may not realise it, but I’ve seen you look at me from across the office…” he says.

My mouth falls open but I have no words to respond. How deluded can one man be!

Meanwhile he just looks down at me, enjoying the inherent position of power he has while I’m still sitting down. And the view from above seems to please him as well.

“What is it that you want,” I sneer. My question is quite unnecessary, I suspect that I already know.

Filthy Excerpt Thursday

Almost straight away he grunts loudly and begins to shake all over. His hand is squeezing his cock so hard his knuckles show white. I wrap my fingers around his, spurring him on to keep pumping through his orgasm. As soon as he does, his hot seed ends up all over my cleavage and I fall back on the bed, furiously rubbing my clit for him.

He’s still watching, still high, while I push myself over the edge. My best bet at muffling my cries is to bite my lip so hard I may just draw blood this time.
When I open my eyes he’s still kneeling in the same place, still holding on to himself even if a lot more relaxed.

“That’s the most beautiful thing…” His stares are enough to bring his point across.

I stretch out a little bit and grin up at him. A few moments later, he starts to regain his composure just a little.

“How did you know I’d like to watch?” he asks.

I shrug. “You’re a man. I figured it was a safe enough bet.”

“And I just wanted to plant a strong image in your head which you won’t be able to ignore every time you enter or think of this room.” I chuckle.

He grins back at me while getting off the bed and straightening his legs.

“Congratulations, you’ve succeeded!” he says while handing me the tissues.

I won’t reveal just yet which story this has been taken from. It’s as yet unpublished and unfinished.

Morning After II

This is only part of the story! Read The Job Interview, First Day at Work, At Last They Meet  and Morning After first to find out what happens before this.

I stretch a few times on the way to the kitchen, feeling quite pleased with myself indeed. He’s just there, in the bathroom. I can hear the shower switch on. He likes me! I can’t believe it. This is so much better than I had hoped for.

I know I told him I didn’t want to be with him while he’s on the rebound. But I was lying, mainly to myself. I would’ve happily taken any chance of being with him at all. I’m a slave to my emotions generally, but somehow even more so with him. I was desperate. Maybe because it had been a while since I had been with a man? No, that can’t be it. There was just something special about John. I don’t just have a crush on him. I have fallen in love.

I wonder what he likes for breakfast. I’ve never seen him eat any at the office. But who doesn’t like bacon and eggs. Quickly I clear the dirty dishes off the small breakfast bar; the only thing even resembling a dining table which could fit into this place. I hope he hasn’t noticed the mess. At least I remembered to tidy the bathroom when I went in just before him.

While the bacon is sizzling away, I go into the bedroom, rummaging through drawers that haven’t been opened in ages. I’m sure I’ve still got some of Greg’s old stuff in here somewhere, things he didn’t bother taking with him when he left. I wonder if it would make John uncomfortable to wear my ex’s old clothes? But then he didn’t exactly bring an overnight bag… I find some sweats and a t-shirt. They should fit, hopefully. After all, Greg was quite a big guy as well, but that is where the resemblance to John ends.

“Wow, that smells great,” John says. He looks so tempting, wearing the old and hugely over-sized dark blue bathrobe that I normally use when dyeing my hair. I’m just plating up the food but am severely distracted imagining what’s underneath that robe.

“Oh it’s nothing fancy,” I say as I turn back to face the counter again, “Tea or coffee?”

“Tea please,” John says.

“I’ve found some clothes, see if they fit. I figured you might want to wear something clean after that shower…” I say while busying myself with the tea a bit more than perhaps would be necessary. But the more I look at him in the bathrobe, the more I can feel my nipples poking through my t-shirt and a fuzzy, warm sensation building up in my lower abdomen.

It had taken a lot of effort for me to be decent last night. I had felt his warm breath against my lips, its rhythm building up faster and faster, his tongue feverishly seeking out mine. He had wanted me then. But I had to be sure that he had really wanted me and wasn’t just feeling horny generally. I had promised myself that I wouldn’t make that mistake again, giving myself to a guy too soon and ending up hurt in the process. And plus, even if I had been sure of that already, I would prefer him to remember every second of it.

No sooner that I put the tea on the bar, where the food is already waiting, does John come back in wearing the clothes I had found. If anything, they’re slightly loose on him but not by much. He looks delicious even so. I can’t take my eyes off him, checking him out from head to toe. I hope he doesn’t think I’m a total nympho.

We sit down at opposite ends of the bar, he seems a bit stiff, awkward.

“So whose are these then? They seem a bit, umm, big for you…” he asks.

“Oh, my ex left them behind.” I say, before taking a big bite of toast.

“Ah. Right.”

We eat quietly, every so often sneaking a look at each other. The food seems to be doing him good, he is starting to look more alert with every bite. But his eyes are tensing up more and more also, as though something is bothering him.

“More?” I ask, as soon as he’s emptied his plate.

“No, that’s ok. Thanks.” His eyes wander around the room, over the empty plates and back at me.

“Umm, I guess I should head home,” he says, his tone suggests it’s more a question than a statement.

“If you want to…” Please don’t go… “Do you have any plans this weekend?”

“Not really…” He answers.

“Well, you’re more than welcome to stay if you like. I haven’t got anything on either, I was just going to watch some films that I had recorded earlier. Or whatever you’d like to do…”

“Sure,” he says, sounding relieved. His expression has relaxed again and his eyes meet mine. We just stare, it feels like forever. I wonder if he can feel the same fluttering in his chest that I feel. The same ticklish sensation in his stomach, the magnetism between us, how my hands are just drawn towards him. Of course that’s why I’ve been extra touchy-feelie for weeks. I don’t do casual friendly gestures, little touches while walking by, I don’t even hug my friends. But I’ve been fighting the urge every day to throw myself at him. Why am I still fighting? I remind myself; he’s already here!

I slip off the bar stool, taking a step in his direction. His eyes have widened, and breathing sped up again. He swallows hard. What a sweetheart, so nervous, just like me.

But we can’t both be shy, I tell myself.

“I’ve been wanting to do this again so badly,” I breathe, my lips almost touching his, but I hold back. I need reassurance.

“Oh please,” he whispers back at me.

He smells of my soap mixed with clean laundry and bacon. And still this unmistakable scent holding it all together, him. I can’t hold back any longer and take his hands, putting them on my waist. I slide my hands up over his arms and pull myself towards him around his neck. His lips are as soft as I remember from last night. Just perfect. It feels like an electric shock releases the tension that had built up between us, we’re free now.

Kissing deeply and passionately, his strong arms around me once more. He gets off his stool as well bending down allowing me to reach better. He may have started off shy, but his kisses are determined. I can feel his need for me in his movements, his hands exploring the contours of my back, fingertips gently massaging my shoulder blades through my thin t-shirt, I slip my hands down between his arms so I can get around his waist as well, tugging at him to hold me tighter when he grabs me around the small of my waist, lifting me up and onto the bar stool. At last my face is exactly at his level. I put my arms around his neck again, running my fingers through his damp hair. And my legs open to allow him closer against me.

“You’re amazing,” I gasp at him. One of my hands slips down the back of his t-shirt caressing his smooth, soft skin, the other remains in his hair, playing and tugging softly.

“Liar,” he responds. I pull back and look into his deep amber eyes again. So innocent and naked, I can see that now his walls are down for me. I cover his cheek in kisses, travelling down his neck. His head and shoulders twitch, trapping me, but I keep on licking and sucking on the silky skin on his neck, underneath his ear and where his neck reaches his shoulder.

A groan escapes his lips and his hands freeze on my back, he’s rigid in my arms, clinging to me tightly.

“Stop, I can’t,” he says, gasping for air.

I release my hold on him and look him in the eyes.

“What’s wrong?” I ask.

“I can’t hold back,” he says, trying his best to avoid eye contact. Looks like the wall is back up.

“You don’t need to hold back.” I try, running my left hand through his hair again.

“I can’t do this, not yet,” he whispers.

His statement confuses me, I hadn’t foreseen anything like this.

“You don’t have to. There’s no rush,” I say softly, trying to hide my concern. I smile at him and give him a soft peck on his lips. “You choose, whatever you want to do and when. We can take things slowly.”  

Finally he looks back into my eyes, his relief is obvious. But I’m worried now, where did I go wrong? Maybe he is still too hung up on his ex after all.

“Thanks, I’m sorry about this…” His hand reaches up to caress my cheek with the back of his fingers. “I need you to know, it’s not you. I’m just… I want things to be perfect. This is a huge step for me.”

I swallow and blink a few times, studying his face. He seems genuine. I do hope he doesn’t think I’m a slut, making myself too available to him.

“Right. Well how about those films then…” I try to change the topic while slipping off the bar stool. He holds me back by my arm on my way towards the sofa.

“I meant it. It’s not you. I just never thought I’d end up here. I’m still sort of expecting that I’ll wake up alone in my own bed and this will all have been a dream,” he says. “I don’t want to fuck this up. I don’t want you to do anything you’ll regret.”

Regret, me? I shake my head in disbelief.

“Why would you fuck anything up?” I ask, eyebrows raised.

His face falls and he whispers: “I hardly know what I’m doing…”

Oh damn. He’s nervous! That I can understand, I’m not the most confident person either, sometimes just making a simple phone call can cause me to have a mild panic attack.

“Well, you could’ve fooled me.” I smile at him.

I hand him the remote while we sit down on the sofa.

“You pick, I’ve not seen any of them yet.”

I purposefully sit extra close to him, even though there is plenty of space. He presses play and the movie starts, but I’m not even aware which one it is. His warmth right next to me, the memory of our kiss, it all adds up to make me painfully aware of even the slightest movement or sound. His breathing is calmer than before, but he’s still tense, sitting straight with his hand on his thigh.

I fold my legs underneath me, and while I wiggle back into the plush sofa, brushing against his leg, his arm twitches and he starts holding his breath. Then he raises his arm and puts it around me. I don’t hesitate to move closer against him and rest my head on his shoulder. I can hear him sigh. Why is he so very nervous though?

I turn towards him and find his other arm, holding him tight. That was all the encouragement he needed. I’m engulfed in his embrace, pressing myself tightly against his chest. His heartbeat is rapid, in tune with the eerie background music of the film we’re not really watching.

I can feel his breath against my hair, it tickles slightly, making me even more on edge. But I can be patient for him, I tell myself. With my eyes closed I try to focus on my breathing, slowly and deeply. It’s not really working…

“Why?” His voice interrupts my attempts at relaxing myself.

“Why what?” I ask, unwilling to get up from his embrace.

“This. You, me…” he hesitates.

“I don’t understand. Why not?” I respond.

“I just never had anyone interested in me like that before…” he says, his voice trembling slightly.

“I thought… What about your ex?” I lie, worrying that it would be too embarrassing to reveal that I already heard too much of that story from the girls in the office.

“She lied.” He swallows hard. “She never even kissed me once like you have. I should’ve seen it but I just thought it was all I could hope for. When she left, she told me it was all just pretend. Then, I’ve already told you, about her and my brother… When she left I thought I’d lost my only chance to be with someone.”

“That’s why you’ve been upset, even before you found out about them,” I say, holding him tighter.

“Initially. Until you came along and then I couldn’t stop wondering, what if…” His voice is almost a whisper now. His gentle kisses burn through my hair, on top of my head and neck.

“She must be crazy,” I say. I lift my head and am overwhelmed by the sadness in his eyes.

“How could she do that to you.” Holding his face in my hands I kiss him on the lips. My whole being aches to make him see that there is another way.

“And before her?” I ask in between kisses.

“Nothing before her. I wasn’t exactly popular growing up. Girls weren’t interested. In school they only spoke to me to be introduced to my brother, same thing at uni…” The way he says it, suggests he doesn’t think much of his brother at all.

“Oh well, I can understand that. School was pretty similar for me.” He starts kissing me back before I even finish the sentence.

“Umm, last night, you said it was like being 15 all over again. What did you mean?” I ask.

He hesitates before answering.

“Oh, that.” He averts his eyes from mine. “I liked one of the girls in my class then. She seemed nice, had only just joined the school that term. The others used to call me names but she never did. Then a few weeks later one of the others told me that this girl liked me and wanted to be my date for the upcoming school dance but was too shy to say something herself. In the end it was just a set-up, a joke. They were all in on it.”

“Oh shit, I’m so sorry,” I whisper, pressing my cheek against his and putting my arms around his neck.

“Nevermind, that was a long time ago. But,” he takes a deep breath. “I still don’t understand why you like me.”

“What’s there not to like? You’re kind, caring, honest, have a great sense of humour, you’re really smart -” I start.

“None of that explains why you would want me as anything other than a friend,” he interrupts me.

“You’re strong, and don’t seem to care what people think, loyal, I feel like I could trust you with anything…” I continue.

He shakes his head. “Hold on. Take a good look at me and back at yourself. Why would YOU want to be with a guy like me? You could have anyone, Richard has been-”

“Don’t start about him, he’s uber-creepy! Never in a million years, would I ever consider…” Just thinking about him makes my skin crawl, I shudder instead of finishing that sentence.

John just looks at me with an amused glint in his eyes and a smile playing on his lips.

“Ha, you really hate him, don’t you!”

“Is it that obvious?” I ask, grinning back at him.

“My point still stands though, why would you ever like a guy like me?” he asks.

“I thought I had just made it clear that you do appear to be quite a catch.” I innocently bat my eyelashes.

“You know what I mean… look at you, you’re absolutely stunning and I’m…” He gestures down at himself, it’s obvious where this is going.

“You’re a big guy, so what? I don’t mind,” I respond. Sweetheart you have no idea how much I don’t mind.

“You’re odd.” He sighs and pulls me back into his arms. “But I’m glad for it.”

The movie is still on, preparing for its climactic finish where the main character stabs everyone in a wild frenzy using a huge kitchen knife.

“Which movie was this anyway?” I ask as the credits roll. He just laughs in response.

At last, he sounds happy, at ease. I cuddle up even closer. God knows just being this close to John has me all hot and bothered. But at the same time it’s a revelation how amazing it is to just sit here, enjoying each other’s company and innocent affections. Where did all these feelings come from in such a short time? I’ve never fallen this hard for anyone.

“Oh, shit. That Christmas do, that’s tonight isn’t it?” I remember.

“Umm yeah, a fairly stupid day for it if you ask me. Were you thinking of going?” he responds.

“Well, I thought, with me being the new girl and all, maybe I should show face for a bit…”

“Oh. Yeah I guess,” he says.

“You weren’t going to?” I ask.

He shrugs.

“Well, I was sort of hoping you’d be my date… I mean if you feel like it.” I say.

“What, officially? Like you want to be open about it?” He sounds surprised.

“Unless it makes you uncomfortable.”

“Me? Hell no. You do realise people will talk,” he says.

“Where would Sharon and her gang be without fresh gossip.” I smile at him.

“Richard will be pissed,” he remarks.

“That’s his problem then.”

We sit quietly for another minute or so.

“You are serious, aren’t you?” John asks.

“About?”

“You really don’t care what they’ll say?” He still sounds unsure.

“I don’t even like any of them. Out of everyone in office, I’ve only ever cared about what you think of me. It wouldn’t cause you any trouble I hope?” I ask.

“No, no trouble. This is just unexpected, that’s all.” He shakes his head a few times. “I still don’t know what I ever did to get you to like me.”

“I have an idea what you can do now to get me to like you even better,” I say with a naughty smile. I move back and lie against the armrest of the empty half of the sofa, motioning him to come closer. He does until he is right on top of me, on all fours.

“Kiss me again!” I whisper. His eyes darken as he rests on his elbows either side of me, our bodies pressed together and his lips on mine. I’m sandwiched between the sofa and his soft bulk, I’m so excited I can barely breathe while kissing him hungrily.

He stops and starts to lift himself off me.

“I’m sorry, I’m crushing you..”

But I don’t let him go and pull him into me once more.

“You’re not,” I gasp, “I love this.”

It doesn’t take much to convince him and our mouths merge, tongues entwined, in the most mind blowing kiss I have ever experienced. For someone who’s supposedly not had a lot of practice, he sure knows how to kiss. My fingertips run up his arms simultaneously, teasing against his bare skin under the sleeves of his t-shirt, up to his shoulders and over his shoulder blades. His skin so smooth and flawless I wish I could taste it.

I can feel him shudder under my every touch, involuntarily grinding up against me. His arousal blatantly obvious, pressing rock hard into my thigh. I was already breathless and now he has reached a similar state, his lips finding my neck, impatiently kissing and sucking in between ragged breaths. I writhe underneath him, rubbing my thigh against his hard cock. He moans into my ear, with such a deep, sexy voice.

“Ohh, I can’t…” he stops mid sentence, while I just hang on to him, feeling every single muscle in his back tense up together underneath my fingertips. I lift myself up as far as I can manage. He starts to twitch and shudder, and I just hold on, biting softly into his neck, enjoying the primal last groan that escapes his lips before he sinks into me, slowly relaxing all over, pinning me into the sofa cushion under his full weight.

“Shit, I’m so sorry,” he finally manages after catching his breath.
“Shh,” I say, “that was so hot! Best kiss, ever.” My hands are still under his shirt, caressing his back, circling over his shoulders.

He has moved down a little bit, his face pressed into my chest. I take one hand out of his shirt and put my whole arm around him further up over his shoulder, causing him to nuzzle underneath, hiding. He sighs deeply before speaking again.

“This is what I was worried about, that I’d lose it.”

I lift up my head to reach him, kissing him on his hair.

“This is what I had been hoping for, dreaming of. Letting go is not a bad thing. Every sound, every movement you made showed me that you want me as much as I want you.”

He remains silent, taking slower and deeper breaths. Finally he lifts up one arm and takes my hand, kissing my knuckles and putting it over the side of his head, covering his eyes.

“You are a bit odd indeed,” he sighs again.

I can’t suppress a smile and respond: “Well, odd or not. You’re stuck with me now.”

This story has now been published as Just Another Day at the Office – part one.

Morning After

This is only part of the story! Read The Job Interview, First Day at Work and At Last They Meet first to find out what happens before this.

Ow my head. I wake up in a daze. Blinking a few times before the room gets into focus. This place does not look familiar at all. A TV, Xbox and a stack of DVDs at eye height in a dark teak finish cabinet with a bunch of black candles in a holder on top. This is definitely someone’s living room, but whose and how did I get here. I try to move, my head feels like it weighs a ton. Wherever I have fallen asleep last night, it’s warm, comfortable. And moving?!

I lift myself up and come face to face with the most beautiful thing ever. Cath’s eyes are still closed but she’s stretching. Well no wonder, she must be totally numb after having me fall asleep on her lap for… Well, not sure for how long.

She blinks a few times and smiles at me.

“Morning,” she says.

I’m dumbfounded and just stare at her. This can’t be real, am I even awake?

“Umm, do you remember anything?”

I shake my head, slowly, trying not to upset my sense of balance too much.

“You came by last night, I guess you found my note after having a bit much to drink…”

Flashes of last night are coming back to me, god how embarrassing. I was pretty angry and vaguely recall yelling at her. I rub the side of my head with my finger tips.

“Oh fuck. I actually said all those things? I’m so sorry…” I whisper, with my head in my hands.
I just sit still trying to remember what else happened when I feel her warm hand momentarily burning into my shoulder. My only hope of trying to disguise the fact that even the slightest touch forces my heartbeat into overdrive is to just hold my breath.

“Don’t worry about it. I’ll be right back,” she says while getting up.

I’m so deep in thought again that I only barely hear the door opening and closing behind me, followed by the sound of running water.

After I accused her of messing me about, what did she say? She was crying, I definitely remember that. Shit I made her cry, I’m such an idiot! And then… she came closer and held me, and… I wish I knew whether I’m remembering last night or a dream.

“No it can’t be…”

“What can’t be?” she says. 

I hadn’t even noticed her coming back in. She sits down next to me again, legs folded and facing me. The thin fabric of her t-shirt clings around her just enough to show off her perfect, bra-less body. I force myself to look at her face instead, I wonder why she bothers with make up usually, she’s so beautiful even after just waking up.

“Did we…” I start, not daring to finish the question.

She gives me a wicked smile and says; “What are you hoping that we did?”

I feel blood rushing into my face and just stare at her speechless.

“OK, I’m being unfair,” she lets out a giggle, “we kissed. That’s it. I wouldn’t want to be accused of taking advantage of you while you’re out of it.”

Her face turns serious. “But I need you to be honest. If you don’t feel the same way about me after sobering up, and it was all a silly mistake…”

I’m just shocked. She kissed me. All these images in my head, they’re real, no dream. I can hardly catch my breath. What does it mean? Maybe she was just trying to get me to calm down, after all I was really riled up and might have scared her coming here like that.

She continues, “Look, I was being honest last night. I have wanted you all this time. But it seemed like you weren’t interested and I didn’t want to come off all desperate. I wanted a real chance…”

I’ve got so many questions, I don’t know where to begin.

“Why..”

“I didn’t want to be your rebound girl. I want you to like me for me…” She looks gorgeous even with that worried frown on her face, or perhaps even more so because of it. 

It makes no sense to me, she is worried I wouldn’t like her. That she’d be a stand in for Julie. It’s laughable. I just don’t know what to say, none of this makes any sense. But the longer I stay quiet, the worse she’ll feel. I should reach out, make her understand that she has never been the problem.

I hold my breath again and force my hand forward, running my fingertips over her cheek, before putting my other hand on her shoulder. The moment I pull her towards me ever so slightly, she falls into my arms as though that’s where she’s wanted to be all along.

How did I do this? She’s the kindest person I’ve ever met, way out of my league in every way. And she’s hiding her face in my chest, when all I’ve ever done was be grumpy and horrible to her. I yelled at her last night, for what? For being nice to me when noone else even bothers to be polite, for trying to flirt with me. What a moron I am.

“I’m sorry,” I say finally, “I’ve been such a moody git all along. You didn’t deserve any of it.”

I hold her tighter, pressing my face into her soft hair. Her scent is intoxicating. She feels so small in my embrace, so fragile. She has let her defenses down in front of me, it’s obvious that this isn’t just an act. And anyway, why would it be when there is no audience. It’s only the both of us.

“Sure, I’ve been upset over Julie, but things changed the moment you walked into the office on your first day. You’ve been all I could think. I could hardly bear sitting next to you, I thought if I ignored you…” I say, “maybe it wouldn’t hurt so much that I couldn’t have you.”

She pulls back and looks at me, her eyelashes sticky with the remnants of tears as she blinks a few times.

“Well you have me now,” she says. A smile appears on her lips. She looks like an angel when she smiles.

“Are you hungry?” And smart as well.

“Yeah, but you don’t need to make a fuss…” I get up, looking for the bathroom. Luckily there aren’t many doors to choose from and the first I try happens to be the correct one.

I take one look at myself in the mirror and the same feeling of shock from before hits me again. I look and smell like I’ve been hit by an off-license delivery truck. Ugh, and I’ve just had my dream girl pressed into my chest, without showing the slightest hint of disgust. In fact it would seem she rather enjoyed it. Maybe she has a cold and her sense of smell is impaired.

I feel surprisingly OK after last night though, not the same terrible hangovers I’ve been having at work lately. The cold water feels so refreshing against my face.

There’s a knock on the door.

“Fresh towels are in the cupboard if you need them… and you’re welcome to use the bathrobe hanging on the hook behind the door.” Alright, so perhaps she doesn’t have a cold after all. Awkward.

Move on to Morning After II.

Not Enough – III

Note: Please read 1 August 2006, Not Enough – I, Not Enough – II first to get the full story.

“History is written by the victors”
Sir Winston Churchill

3 August 2012. I wonder if I can will the situation in my favour by continuing to write about it. Perhaps this way, I can force a happy ending for us. Either way I’m going to try.

Today’s Friday and I’m very glad indeed. Soon we’ll have the weekend to ourselves. We’ve been working on an old motorcycle together, trying to change a few bits and pieces; seat, tail light, indicators… I’ve never done anything like it before, but it’s nice to be actually involved instead of watching others do similar things on Discovery.

The day passes, nothing much happens. Except the delivery of my brand new tail light. So I come home triumphantly carrying the light, excited to try and see what it will look like on the bike. He’s already home of course, his office is only 10 minutes away. As I come in, he gets up and walks towards me, muting the TV. The look on his face is hard to place, sort of uncertain, insecure.

“We did it today, lunchtime.” He looks worried now, waiting for me to react. It’s obvious what he means.

I don’t know what to say, I try looking at the floor, fighting back the tears. Damn it why do I cry so easily! Today?! I’ve hardly had time to think, to get used to the idea. I thought I had time…

“I’m sorry. You’re upset.” He hugs me, his arms enveloping me completely. I can’t move, so I just stand there, arms hanging down by my sides. “If it upsets you so much, we won’t do it you know.”

“What do you mean ‘we won’t’? You did or you didn’t?” I push him back, looking at him, eyes narrowed. This time it’s him avoiding my gaze, I don’t know what to make of this at all.

“Well?”

“I thought you didn’t want to know details… That maybe it would help if you weren’t sure.” This time he’s looking at the floor.

“Yeah but I didn’t want you telling me in a half-assed manner either! Now you started talking, you don’t get to be vague about it! Either you fucking did or didn’t, which is it?” I feel myself getting annoyed now. Why is he playing around? I try to calm myself down – deeply breathing in and out.

“We did… I can’t keep secrets from you.” His voice sounds small, scared. “Please don’t hate me.”

Well at least that takes care of the uncertainty I was feeling, over whether he’d go through with it. That ship has now sailed. He went through with it. Tears are properly streaming down my face now but I’m hardly making a sound.

“You told me about the 25th. And now you’ve done it already. I thought I had time to get used to the idea.” I pause and press my face against him, waiting for him to put his arms around me again.

I dry my face in his T-shirt and pick up the tail light. I need to distract myself from this mess. The motorcycle is parked in the garden; I quickly walk towards it with my new light. Held against the back of the seat, it looks exactly how I had hoped, I connect it up to test if it works. He’s watching me as I press the brake and flip the light switch a few times. It must be showing on my face that I’m pleased with the result because he comes over and holds me again.

“You’re happy with the new light? Good.”

I don’t know happy is the right word to describe my feelings right now, but yes the light is good. I nod.

“We share so much together, please don’t take this personally. You’ll always be the one I love.”

He still has his arm around me as we go back inside.

There’s a sealed envelope on the dining table with his name on it.

“What’s this?” I pick it up to show him.

“Her wedding invitation.” He opens it as we sit down on the sofa. Saturday the 10th of November, 7pm onwards. As I’m reading the card I can’t help but feel sorry for her fiance. He has no clue at all. 

“I guess I’ll be going by myself,” he says.

“What?! I’m not invited? She gets to fuck you and I don’t even get free food in return? Unacceptable” My sense of humour is coming back, that’s something. 

“Though I could see how it would be awkward to meet her and her hubby-to-be. ‘Hi I’m the wife of the one your wife is fucking’,” I continue. 

He pulls me towards him and we both lie down on the sofa, me on top of him in his arms, my head resting on his chest. He starts telling me absentmindedly about something that happened on his drive home, some speed trap nearby, he comments she may have got a ticket.

“You brought her here?” I’m a bit shocked; after all he’d said himself he didn’t want to bring her into our house. Looking around the living room there are bike parts, dust everywhere. “It’s filthy in here!”

He can’t stop himself from laughing. “Silly cow, THAT’S your biggest worry? That the place is dirty?”
I realise it’s quite stupid but I can’t help myself. I promise myself that I’ll clean up properly this weekend.

“You’re going to laugh some more.. I’m writing a book.”

“What book?”

“About this. I thought it might be a good outlet. Since I can’t really talk to anyone about it.”

“You can talk to me!” He seems hurt. Men!

“Yeah I can talk to you, but that’s not how it works! Women tend to talk about emotional stuff to deal with things.”

“So why don’t you talk to your best friend about it?” Honestly? He really doesn’t get it.

“Well I can’t. Not until I’m OK with everything. It’s not an easy topic and I don’t want to get into a conversation about what I should and shouldn’t accept and how you’re a mean bastard who hurt me.”

“Fine ok, that makes sense. Well if you think writing will help.”

I didn’t want to tell him. But I just blurted it out. But I don’t think I’ll let him read it, ever.

“You fucked up my whole storyline. I had 25 days to write about until it would happen. And you went and did it already!”

My remark seems to have amused him. “Sorry…” he says sheepishly.

For a few minutes I’m lying in his arms quietly. Surely, he didn’t do it in the bed like he promised me he wouldn’t… I look around some more, lift my head to look at him.

“The sofa…?” 

He nods.

It troubles me a bit, but I lie down again and close my eyes.

“I’m getting used to the idea. But I can’t promise it’s not going to come back to bother me again.” And I can’t promise I won’t bring it up in snide remarks during arguments either. I let out a deep sigh.

He strokes my back and I relax some more. Emotions sure are exhausting. I close my eyes and start drifting away.

Keep calm, all hope is lost. 

Ladies’ Day – a little taster.

My first little ebook, Ladies’ Day, has been out for a little while now. It’s an erotic short story (roughly 34 pages according to Amazon); two strangers and their chance meeting at the side of the road after Ladies’ Day at Royal Ascot. 

Available on Amazon.com

Or Amazon.co.uk

Why not get a little taste of it from the short except below:

“Excuse me, where’s your bathroom?” His call is coming from the back door.

“Oh please come in, it’s just over there…” I point at the door leading off the hallway.

Still the contrast between us is startling to me, he looks like everything I am not in his formals which probably cost more than my car is worth. At the same time I – at 25 – still dress like I did as a teenager, faded jeans and inappropriately tight t-shirts. The only “fancy” clothes I own are worn exclusively to job interviews and then too they’re Primark or at a stretch Next. You could mistake me for a simple idealist, not moved by worldly possessions, when in fact I am just a bit stingy and lazy.

But strangely, he looks at home, walking over the terracotta tiles and towards the door I’ve just shown him. Taking in the decor, glancing at the eclectic mix of paintings and photographs on my walls on his way. Like he is meant to be here, in my house. I try and shake off that thought. He’s just some stranger and I’m an idiot for doing this.

The ping of the oven timer brings me back to reality and I pile all the food, plates and cutlery high onto a tray, and head back out. After I’ve arranged everything on the wooden table and make another trip for the cushions, a water jug and the aforementioned cheap wine, he comes back out as well.

“Oh you didn’t need to…” He says, smiling at me. Looking at him now, more relaxed and at ease, I feel like I’m getting a hint of his usual demeanor. Charismatic is probably the best word for it. Like he should be a politician, but still strangely genuine and trustworthy.

“I sort of did, I’m starving,” I respond, “and Dominos doesn’t deliver here.”

He lets out a laugh while sitting down on the bench beside me. Thankfully it’s large and sturdy, quite over spec for my usual needs as a single woman.

“I wasn’t sure what you’d like,” I point at the food, wine and water, “unless you want coffee or tea, I can do that too.”

“Yeah, I don’t tend to drink much, is it that obvious?” He smiles again. My heart is pounding in my chest; I can’t get over how handsome he is, by body language perhaps even more so than simply looks.

“Well, whatever you need, just ask.” My eyes are drawn towards his, in this light they seem more turquoise than blue. He holds my gaze just a little longer than strictly necessary before picking up the wine and corkscrew.

“I suppose one glass won’t hurt. I promise I don’t feel ill anymore.” He doesn’t look it either, must be the fresh air.

“Don’t be so sure, you haven’t tried it yet. It’s probably nowhere near the quality you’re used to.” I say, still mesmerised by his eyes.

He grins at me. “Everything is only as good as the company it’s enjoyed in.”

I feel the corners of my mouth curl up practically by themselves, this is a game I know how to play.

 “Well, and what do you know about current company other than that I was overly keen to get my hands on your car keys?”

“Firstly, you took a huge risk trying to help out a complete stranger,” winking at me, he adds, “car keys or no car keys.”

I take the glass of wine he has poured for me.

“Furthermore, I don’t recall the last time anyone has made an effort putting together a meal for me…” His gaze wanders out over the field again.

“Fine, if you say so,” I say, “but for all you know I could be a psychopath, only pretending to be friendly.”

He looks back at me again, the amused glint in his eyes reappearing. “So could I.”

“Cheers,” I say, raising my glass towards him, “to us, pretending to be friendly.”

We both take a sip, stealing little looks at each other in turn. 

I would be really grateful for some feedback. Also, I’m working on a few more things, at least one of which I intend to publish within this year. Do check back here or on Facebook/Twitter for updates if you’re interested in reading more of my work.

At Last They Meet

OK, I admit, I skipped some parts of the story, but writing this passage got me so excited I simply had to share it. Read The Job Interview and First Day at Work first for a little introduction into the characters.

I’m half asleep, nearly swallowed up by the massive sofa and no longer really registering the blue flicker of the TV, when I hear the doorbell. I glance at the clock, 1 am, who’s at the door at fucking 1am?

I get up to check, smoothing down my pjs as best I can but I know I look like I’ve just woken up. Well tough, whoever it is will just have to deal with it if they’re going to come to my place this late.

I open the door slightly with the chain on, and catch a glimpse of John. I immediately close the door again to open the chain and open wide to let him in. He looks upset, the smell of booze hangs around him.

“What the fuck, Cath!” He’s slurring his words. “Why? Why do you toy with me?”

“Umm, not sure what you’re talking about, John” I step back, giving him space to enter.
He staggers into the kitchenette and leans on the counter, his head hanging down. What’s made him so upset?

“What do you mean, toy with you?” I ask.

“You know, acting all nice. If I didn’t know any better I’d think you were dropping hints. You think you’re the first to do this? You think I’d fall for it? And then you leave me this..” He shows me the crumpled up piece of paper in his hand. The note I’d left in his bag earlier that day.

“Fall for what?” I ask, while putting my hand on his arm. He flinches as soon as I touch him.

“This, what the fuck is this?” He gestures down at my hand, then looks at me. His expression is wild, angry, yet the anger does not extend to his eyes.  “It might not be a big deal to you, just a gesture, but don’t you understand… this drives me crazy!”

“Oh but it is a big deal to me.” I whisper.

“And I know, that sooner or later, when I can’t take it anymore, and I want more,” he continues to rant, “it’ll be like I’m fucking 15 all over again. If you are actually as nice as you pretend to be, you’ll let me down easy – say you just wanna be friends…”

He is looking down at the floor again, I can see tears in his eyes. I can’t believe it, he actually likes me that way. All this time it had felt like I was talking to a wall, like nothing I did could make him notice me as anything other than a colleague. But he had noticed, and misunderstood me completely.

“John,” I say, while taking his face in my hands. “You don’t understand.” I can feel tears welling up in my eyes too as I look at his troubled expression, but his gaze evades mine. I stand up on my toes, our faces only inches apart now. “I’ve had a crush on you since I first saw you…”

His eyes widen in disbelief, and our lips meet in a near perfect first kiss. Hesitant and gentle, his lips so soft against mine it makes me ache for more. One tear is started to run down my face as I kiss him, I drink in his scent, although masked by how much he’s had to drink, I can still taste him. My hands have moved on, fingers running through his hair and pulling him down into me. He is starting to react, returning my kisses, until we’re both equally breathless. I coax his lips open more, allowing my tongue to find his, dancing around it. While our tongues meet, it’s as if the floodgates open inside of me, releasing all the desire I had locked up inside. Blood rushes outwards from my core into even the farthest parts of my body until even my fingertips are buzzing. His large, strong hands find their way onto my back. He holds me so tightly against him. I can feel his warm body crushing against me and it drives me wild with pleasure. I’d been dreaming of this moment so many times and it does not disappoint. I take a step back, and he abruptly releases me.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to…” he stammers.

I shake my head and smile, and pull him towards the sofa by his hand.

“I’m not sorry,” I say, pushing him down, “I’ve been wanting to do this for so long…”

The disappointment that had appeared in his eyes is replaced by surprise again. I kneel next to him on the sofa, leaning in for another kiss. The excitement inside me is growing with every shallow breath I take and I can tell I’m having a similar effect on him. I keep losing myself in the moment, the only thing reminding me this isn’t just a dream is when I manage to open my eyes every so often and see is face right in front of mine. He’s here with me, finally, I can hardly believe it. His eyes seem to be losing focus, as though the long day as well as the drink is catching up with him.

“You look knackered,” I say, while tracing the tired lines under his eyes. “Here.”

I hand him the nearly full glass of water that has been sitting on the coffee table for the better part of the evening.

While watching him drink, and in spite of the fire he stirred in me I can feel how exhausted I am myself. He’s here now. We have nothing but time, and I’d rather have him sober before we do anything else.

To find out what happens next, take a look at Morning After.

First Day at Work

This is part two in a longer story, please read The Job Interview first. 

For these past two weeks it seemed as though time was moving at a crawl. The job promises to be the usual 9-to-5 drudgery but I can hardly contain my excitement. The reason is of course the prospect of working with Jonathan, I wonder if my memory could be deceiving me. I suppose I’ll find out soon enough if he’s really as gorgeous as I recall.

My buzzing phone brings me back to reality. A text message from my best friend, Jase. “Best of luck, girl. Go kick some ass!”

It makes me smile. Of course he remembered, I haven’t been able to shut up about this job ever since the interview. Well, not about the job, but about the guy. Same thing really.

Now, what to wear… After pulling out nearly half the contents of my wardrobe and dumping it on the bed I settle on a slightly too tight plum pencil skirt and a cowl neck black pullover. A tad more conservative than my usual style, but I wouldn’t want to fall foul of any yet to be discovered dress code. Plus there is still that sleazy idiot, Dick Porter to contend with. A pair of back seam tights and heels should do nicely to keep things interesting.

I’m 15 minutes early coming out of the elevator at my new office. Most of the desks are still empty, as is the office in the corner.  I’m guessing Dick doesn’t take punctuality to extremes himself. Good.

I hesitate a bit on the office floor, looking around for any familiar faces. Sharon –  Dick’s assistant – is just now walking into the office as well. She is quite imposing, a bit taller than me and slightly heavier build as well as impeccably dressed. There appears to be an air of self importance surrounding her, but I don’t want to judge too quickly and give her a friendly smile.

“Hello, I’m Cath. We met two weeks ago when I came in for my interview. Today is my first day..”

“Oh yes, Catherine. Richard isn’t in yet, he’ll be here at nine. Why don’t you take a seat over there -“ Her tone sounds authoritative but polite. “- and make yourself comfortable.” She gestures towards the right side of the office where I already expected to be sitting.

“Thanks,” I mutter while looking around anxiously for Jonathan. There is a backpack lying on what I remember to be his desk but he’s not around. So I put my stuff on the desk right next to him and sit down to wait. If there was any way I could be more nervous than I already had been since last night, now would be the time.

“Hi.” His baritone voice behind me makes me jump up instantly.  It sounds pleasantly warm but slightly raspy as though he’s fighting a cold.

“Err, Hi. I’m Cath Davies. I mean my full name is Catherine but nobody actually calls me that. They tell me I’m going to be working with you…” I babble, my nerves already getting the better of me.  I look at his face while offering my hand to greet him formally. Gorgeous as I remembered. But in spite of the rose tinted specs which are currently clouding my vision, I can’t ignore that he looks tired. His formerly flawless face is showing the signs of stress or sadness, I’m not sure which. Grey circles under his eyes are the most obvious indicator, paired with slightly puffy eyelids. Even his skin tone has changed from the healthy subtle tan I remember to ashen and dull. I fight the urge to stare, my fingers itching to reach up and touch his face.

“Yes indeed. I’m John Hall,” he says as we shake hands.  His hand slightly colder than mine but strong, it takes a lot of willpower to let go..

I hold my breath to fight my nerves and look into his eyes momentarily. They’re a warm shade of amber, but at the same time betray more than the rest of his appearance has already done. Tired and empty. Looking into them feels like a stab right through the heart, forcing me to look away again.

I dare not look make eye contact again all morning while he is giving me the introduction on all the systems I’m supposed to be using. There is no hint of small talk, only work and even then he is a man of few words.

Whenever I glance at his face, I notice he’s consistently avoiding the sight of me. If he’s not looking at the computer screen, he’s leafing through the mountain of papers on his desk. Now I’m not expecting every man to act like Dick – pervert – Porter and shamelessly ogle my boobs all day (I can only imagine how he’s looking at me while I’ve got my back turned). But to avoid looking in my direction completely is another unusual extreme. And it’s especially frustrating because I really want him to notice me.

While John busies himself with some papers in the filing cabinet behind his desk, I allow my eyes to wander. Ever since I could remember I’ve liked men with a bit of meat on them. I don’t quite understand it, I don’t have any identifiable reason for this preference. But I’ve long given up trying to analyse myself. All I know is, I want to feel his soft skin under my fingertips. I want his belly brushing against me as he leans down for a kiss. I want…

“So,” says a familiar voice behind me, shattering the devious fantasy I had started to play out in my head, “how are you enjoying your first day?” Dick. His presence makes the hairs on the back of my neck stand up, and not in a good way.

“Great,” I say, “there’s so much to learn.”

“Good, good. Carry on!” I can hardly suppress a sigh of relief as he stalks off towards another cluster of desks.

“What time is lunch?” I turn to ask John.

“10 minutes.”

The lunchroom is spacious and bright. There is a buffet of sandwiches on offer and a suspicious looking “Soup of the day”. I buy myself a ham and cheese sandwich and join a group of women who are already sitting and chatting at one of the two large tables. There is no sign of John.

“Hi, I’m Cath. I’ve just started today,” I introduce myself as the 7 or so women give me the visual once over. The only one I’ve already met is Sharon, who gestures at me to sit down next to her.

“Catherine, join us. I’ll introduce everyone.” She’s smiling at me but her eyes look guarded. Maybe my first impression was correct after all, looks like she is the big gun of office politics. Sharon quickly rattles through the names of everyone at the table.

“This is Linda, Shelley, Jessica, Miranda, Heidi and Jackie.”
I nod at them before taking a seat.

“So, Cath. How do you like Aspect so far?” The woman further along the table asks, I think her name is Miranda but I’m not entirely sure. Her smile seems a tad more genuine than Sharon’s, but perhaps she’s just a better actress.

“Oh, it seems nice. Of course I’m just overwhelmed at all the new things I’m supposed to learn.”

“Right. So you’ve been paired with John,” she says.  I can detect a hint of contempt as she speaks his name.  “How’s that going?”

“Fine… He seems knowledgeable,” I say.

“He should be, he spends more time here than at home. Sometimes I wonder if he has a bed hidden in the office supply room,” one of the others buts in. The group laugh in response.

I smile politely and eat my food. The group moves on to other topics such as TV talent shows and Big Brother. Exactly the type of things I have nothing to say about.

***

Fucking great. Not only have the past two weeks been hell, now that moron Richard has me train his insufferable new recruit.

I had caught a glimpse of her from behind as she arrived for her interview. Exactly Richard’s type. Long legs leading up to probably the greatest ass ever to have set foot in this building. I’m sure she’ll fit right in with Sharon and her gang, so why couldn’t one of them train her?

This whole thing must be his idea of a joke, parading her in front of me for a few days before swooping in for the kill. She will most definitely go for it too, they always do.

I hadn’t even seen her up close until this morning. She’s his ultimate check list personified; gorgeous figure, curves in just the right places, obvious underneath the slightly clingy outfit she’s wearing. And her face…  I am not the type of guy who tends to objectify women, far from it. But this one- I can’t even look at her without having to fight one physical reaction or other. So I’ve been trying my best to ignore her. I just want to get this training over with, preferably without making a total ass of myself.

I look at my watch, lunchtime is almost over. Back to the grind… Quickly I hide the bottle of vodka behind the stack of unused copier paper.

When I get to my desk she is already sitting at her computer, peering at the screen with intense focus. I sit down and retrieve the sheet with today’s training topics from the mess on my desk. The letters are blurring a little, but I can just about manage. At least I’ve managed to numb myself a bit. Here goes nothing…

“Let’s continue, shall we?” I say, wishing for the day to just end.

 I’ve just added a new part to this story – At Last They Meet, admittedly skipping some bits to get there. If you want the full thing, you’ll just have to wait until the book is ready 😉